A LOT of things have happened since my last post. No surprise there, considering my last post was over 2 years ago. Rather than bore you with the details, let's just say my world was pretty much turned upside down. (Let the reader note that the previous statement should be understood within the context of my long standing tendency to put too much stock in my church experience....I switched churches...that's all that happened. The chain of events that caused me to switch churches, however, could literally be made into a bestselling novel...a dramatic novel...or a soap opera....it was intense) I wanted to make it a point to say how dramatically different I am today than I was two years ago but now that I'm really reflecting on it, I must conclude that I've only experienced a dramatic external change. The driving force behind who I am and what I believe has really only been fortified. Or maybe not fortified, but stripped bare. Much of the proverbial chaff in my life has been burned off and what's left over, though simple and perhaps unimpressive, is nonetheless the only thing that's essential. You guessed it, my faith in Christ, in its most threadbare and unassuming form to date. Maybe. Although the task of rediscovering how this faith informs and, indeed, transforms my day to day life looms dauntingly before me, there's a beautiful simplicity in the gospel that I had previously forgotten (or maybe never really understood) taking hold of my soul.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
I feel like all I know of Christ right now is that invitation. Besides, of course, the cross which makes that invitation possible in the first place. I don't have the slightest idea how that's supposed to play itself out in my life. And I'm sure that sounds like an exaggeration, but it's not! Well, it's a slight exaggeration. I obviously haven't magically erased everything I've learned from the bible in the past, but I have a much looser grip on everything, excepting the things I've just mentioned, than I've ever had before. I'm seeing many of the truths of scripture with new eyes. At this point, I'm thinking my blog writing is going to take a turn. And by that, I don't ONLY mean that I'm actually going to write in it now. I think when I started this blog, I was hoping to inform or encourage other people out of my own study of scripture and spiritual experience. While I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I don't know that I can continue to write in that way. I find myself feeling so inadequate now, so confused about how to properly understand Christ and the fullness of life he offers that, while I hope my readers can find some information/encouragement from my writings, I can't make that my aim. My aim in life is to discover Christ, to know him deeply and love him fully and allow my life to become lost in his. My aim in my writing for this blog has be the same, otherwise it will be coming from a place of pretense rather than a place of honesty. I'm inviting the reader along for the ride. It's mostly for my own sake, because, let's face it, no one reads this blog. So from this point forward, take what I say with a grain of salt. Youthful angst will abound, seriously misguided/misinformed/misconstrued statements will muddy the waters of my musings. (Whoa! Unintentional alliteration folks! You're welcome!) But if I'm to trust the man who spoke those life-giving words to the laborer, I've got to believe my Counselor will be leading me all the way. Breaking me, building me, disciplining me, and encouraging me until I don't look like me any more. I'll look like him, and I'll be complete.
P.S. ^^^ Did you notice that this last sentence is a subtle reference to my first blog entry on the meaning of my blog title? Prolly not cuz it was so subtle. Epic ending Anny, just epic. :)
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